Where I’ve been | Green Dog Wine

Where I’ve been

October 19, 2010 | Filed in: Uncategorized

Hey there friends! Did you miss me? I certainly missed you.

For the past two weeks now, I’ve had every intention of giving you an update as to what has been going on in my life, but I’ve been having trouble finding the words. After falling in love with blogging over the past two years, I thought I’d never find a post “too hard to write”…

…and yet time and time again – I sat here staring at the computer, too many words flooding in to my mind at once. So many, in fact, that nothing actually translated from brain, to keyboard.

The reason for my absence lately, is due to the fact that my Grandfather passed away. We brought him home 2 weeks ago, with the help of hospice. He passed away last Sunday morning. The past week was spent getting everything together for his wake and funeral services which happened this weekend.

I finally said it. But I’m still having trouble believing it.

While he had Lymphoma and Parkinson’s for a while now – he didn’t SEEM sick. He was still the same old Grandpa, his feet just moved a little slower, and he ate less than he used to.

Then, in the beginning of September he made an ER visit, and by early October, it was time to say our goodbyes.

I can’t lie – the past two weeks have been very hard.

50 th pics346

I’ve never lost a loved one before.

I’ve never lost a Grandparent before.

I’ve never lost one of the most amazing people in my life before.

I’ve never lost someone who so deeply impacted the person that I am today, before.

But instead of focusing on “never”, I know Grandpa would want me to focus on the positive.

I have amazing memories from all of the wonderful times we spent together.
I will never forget Grandpa’s hug, and no one will ever be able to replace it.
Same goes for his laugh and his voice.
The unconditional love he showed his family helped make me the person I am today.
While I only saw 28 years of their 55 year marriage – I know what true love and happiness in a marriage looks like thanks to Grandpa & Grandma.
Grandpa wouldn’t want me to be so sad, he’d want me to remember all our wonderful times together and smile.
I have the most beautiful guardian angel in the world now.

I love you and miss you very much Grandpa.

So that’s where I’ve been, and thanks for bearing with me during my disjointed insight to how I’ve been feeling.

So, long post short, what I’m trying to say is – While I might be sad, I know life goes on. And I know I love blogging. So – I’m back, and regular blogging will resume. It’s what Grandpa would have wanted.

52 Comments so far
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beautiful post my friend. i know grandpa s. is reading this with a big smile on his face right now

Oh girl I’m so sorry. Losing someone is so damn hard and it takes a while before the disjointedness goes away. Thinking of you!

You can never really know how hard losing a grandparent is until it happens to you. I am so sorry to hear about your loss.

(((hugs)))

I lost two grandparents in 2 years, and it’s one of the toughest things I’ve ever had to go through. You just never think of them NOT being there.

Keep those good memories alive

So sorry for your family’s loss, Allison. It’s so great that you have many happy memories of your grandfather and I love the pictures of your grandmother and him together – I can definitely feel the love there! Thinking of you and your fam!

Thanks for posting this Allison. I’m glad you’re back. Things will get easier and you will always have your Grandpa with you.

It is so reassuring to know that they are always with us! I have lost all my grandparents and my mother, and I love to think of them being with me and guiding me through this life. <3

I’m sorry for your loss. Your grandfather sounds like a wonderful man. Loosing a grandparent is very hard..I’m glad you are back.

What a beautiful post, I had some little tears in my eyes. I’ve lost 3 grandparents, so I know how hard it is. But as you said, they would want you to continue one knowing you are watched over I’m so sorry for your loss, and thankful that you had 28 years with him!

I’m so sorry for your loss!

You grandpa sounds like he was a wonderful man and he will be missed. He’s never gone so long as you remember him though.

Beautiful post in honor of what sounds to be a beautiful man.

So sorry to hear about your loss RIP GDW Gramps

Great post! Its so difficult losing a loved one. You are brave to put your feelings out their on your blog. I’m glad you’re back!

I’m so sorry to hear about your grandfather. This is such a beautiful tribute to him!

I’m so, so sorry Alison

What a wonderful post, Allison. I was so sorry to hear of your grandfather’s passing. I know exactly what you’re going through and keeping the memories with you is the best way to get through this difficult time. Stay strong my friend.

You just made me cry! He was a lucky man to have a granddaughter as awesome and loving as you. What a beautiful post.

HUGS—

Love this post Assclown. Great job! Grandpa would be so proud. Love you tons. See you soon. <3

Bawling my eyes out. Thank goodness I haven’t put my makeup on yet or you’d be in trouble.

Love you and keeping you and your family in my prayers!

I’m so sorry for your loss! It’s always so hard to lose someone close to you. Just remember he’s smiling down on you!

This is a beautiful way to honor your grandpa. He looks like such a great man from your photos. Thank you for sharing his life with us. Let me know if you need ANYTHING

I’m so sorry for your family’s loss Losing a grandparent is never easy, but it sounds like you had a long and loving relationship and that’s a great thing.

Awww…I imagine that was a hard post to write. Thank you for sharing.

That was such a beautiful post. I can’t bring myself to talk much about my dad, because everything I think to say sounds like…not enough to really convey how I feel or how amazing he was.

All I know is that you need to keep being kind to yourself. There’s no rights or wrongs here.

Big hugs to you.

What a great tribute to someone that obviously meant a lot to you and your family. The pictures are beautiful! Welcome back.

Aw, all my sympathy to you and your family. It is so hard to lose a loved one, especially someone with whom you were so close. I’m sure he will, in some form, be with you always. <3

What a lovely tribute to someone who was obviously a very special man. My thoughts are with you and your family

Glad to have you back! Your community loves and supports you! I lost my father 6 years ago when i was just 27 and to this day it was the most devestating thing in my life. Loss will challenge you to grow in a way you never thought possible, and this is the gift in death that your grandpa could not give you in life. Take time to grieve, but know that he is smiling upon you!

I’m sorry to hear about your grandpa, I’m sure he’s in a better place. I’m super glad you’re back!

Alijag! you have been missed! I’m so sorry for your loss – but he is in a better place now. My grandmother has parkinsons and its so hard to see her change and tremble all the time. Please keep in touch and go snuggle with your pups!

I’ve missed you! I’m so sorry for your loss Allison. I’ve lost three grandparents and it’s so hard. You wrote a wonderful tribute to him and I’m positive that he is so proud of you.

That was a beautiful, loving tribute to your grandpa – he would have loved it!

Hugs!

Welcome back Allison – we missed you!! That was a beautiful tribute to your grandfather, a great way to honor his memory. Big hugs .

i can only imagine how hard it would be to write a post about food when all you can think about is your grandpa. sounds like he was an amazing guy, and you’ll treasure those memories forever. we’re all thinking of you! and welcome back!

I’ve missed you, and been worried about you. I am so sorry to hear about your Grandpa. He was obviously a special man. Sending you thoughts of comfort and peace.

Oh I’m so sorry to hear about your loss and hope that you are doing okay.

Your grandpa sounds like a great man. I’m sure he will be greatly missed.

A wonderful post; a great tribute.

Hey girl! I’m so sorry to hear about your loss…it’s definitly a hard time. When I went through this awhile back, I cam across this quote and will always remember the ones that we have lost. Keep your head up!

“Daylight I must wait for the sunrise I must think of a new life and I must not give in. When the dawn comes tonight will be a memory too and a new day will begin.”

I am so sorry for your loss, Allison. Having recently lost my first loved one myself (my grandma), I know how devastating it can be. I am certain based on your beautifully written post that the memories you have are happy and will be cherished for years to come. Thinking of you and your family during this difficult time.

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know your Grandpa would be so happy to hear your beautiful words. Your positivity through this is admirable. Love to you xoxo

I’m so sorry for your loss. This post is a beautiful post to your grandfather.

[...] you SO much for all of your amazingly kind and supportive words about my post yesterday. I honestly can not even begin to explain what your words meant to me. Thank you, thank [...]

Oh Allison, I’m so sorry to hear about your Grandfather!Sending a big hug your way.

You and your family will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I <3 you! Lots of hugs and well wishes heading your way.

So I am a crier and seeing the photos of your grandparents at your wedding…well kleenex were needed. You are a lucky girl, that he was able to share that moment with you.

this is such a tough thing to deal with…what i do know is that while it doesn’t exactly get easier the feelings do change. you are so lucky to be surrounded by such a large loving family and know that we are all thinking of you now too!

Awww sweetie – sending lots of hugs to you and your family

So very sorry to hear about your grandpa!

((hugs))

I’m so sorry to hear this. I lost my beloved Granny in 10/01,and I still tear up if I think about her for too long, so I well understand that it HURTS to lose a grand. I don’t know what else to say except that you and your family are in my prayers.

Sorry to hear of your loss Allison. This was a beautiful post. Thinking of you.

Really sorry to hear about your grandpa Allison! That must be so hard to lose someone so close. You are right though, you’re so lucky to have had a grandparent that made such an impact on your life! Things will get better with time!

[...] not sure why, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot about/really missing my Grandpa. In the midst of all these thoughts – I remembered – I never shared with you a special post [...]

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Hiya!

I'm Allison, and welcome to Green Dog Wine! My love of food (AND WINE!) took the freshman 15, to the college 50 for me. This blog is about my weight loss maintenance & healthy lifestyle, and my love of food, wine, and dogs! Cheers!

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